Voor een vriendinnetje
Remembering
5 jaar geleden
zaterdag 29 december 2012
zaterdag 22 december 2012
The Brown Paper Bag
Voor alle kortzichtige mensen die vinden dat een gevange een beest is die nooit meer het daglicht mag zien, die geen plezier mag beleven aan het schrijven met penpals en die vooral niet gelukkig mag zijn. Misschien moeten dat soort mensen de handen eens in eigen boezem steken, voordat ze op de stoel van de rechter willen gaan zitten die de gevangene zijn straf al opgelegd heeft. Een verhaal van Luis Ramirez.
I'm about the share with you a story who's telling is long past due. It's a familiar story to most of you reading this from death row. And now it's one that all of you in "free world" may benefit from. This is the story of my first day on the row.
I came here in May of 1999. The exact date is something that I can't recall.
I do remember arriving in the afternoon . I was placed in a cell on H-20 wing over at the Ellis Unit in Huntsville, Tx. A Tsunami of emotions and thoughts were going through my mind at the time. I remember the only things in the cell were a mattress, pillow, a couple of sheets, a pillow case, a roll of toilet paper, and a blanket ... I remember sitting there, utterly lost.
The first person I met there was Napolean Beasley. Back then, death row prisoners still worked . His job at the time was to clean up the wing and help serve during meal times. He was walking around sweeping the pod in these ridiculous looking rubber boots. He came up to the bars on my cell and asked me if I was new.. I told him that I had just arrived on d/r. He asked what my name is. I told him, not seeing any harm in it. He then stepped back where he could see all three tiers. He hollered at everyone, "There's a new man here. He just drove up. His name is Luis Ramirez."
When he did that, I didn't know what to make of it at first. I thought I had made some kind of mistake. You see ? Like most of you, I was of the impression that everyone on d/r was evil. I thought I would find hundreds of "Hannibal Lecter's in here. And now , they all knew my name. I thought "Oh well," that's strike one. I was sure that they would soon begin harassing me. This is what happens in the movies after all.
Well, that's not what happened . After supper was served. Napolean was once again sweeping the floors. As he passed my cell, He swept a brown paper bag into it. I asked him "What's this"? He said for me to look inside and continued on his way . Man, I didn't know what to expect. I was certain it was something bad. Curiosity did get the best of me though. I carefully opened the bag. What I found was the last thing I ever expected to find on death row, and everything I needed. The bag contained some stamps, envelopes notepad, pen, soap, shampoo, toothpaste, tooth brush, a pastry, a soda, and a couple of Ramen noodles. I remember asking Napolean where this came from ?
He told me that everyone had pitched in . That they knew that I didn't have anything and that it may be a while before I could get them. I asked him to find out who had contributed . I wanted to pay them back. He said, "It's not like that . Just remember the next time you see someone come here like you.You pitch in something ?"
I sat there on my bunk with my brown paper bag of goodies, and thought about what had just happened to me. The last things I expected to find on death row was kindness and generosity. I thought of how many times I had seen "good people" of the world, pass by some man, woman, or child holding a sign that read, "Hungry, or will work for food." I'm guilty of the same. I just passed them by. By the end of the block, or upon reaching my destination . That poor, hungry, tattered, and perhaps dirty , soul had been forgotten. Lost among my daily challenges and struggles with life. Yet, here on death row Among the worst of the worst . I didn't have to hold up a sign.
They knew what I needed and they took it upon themselves to meet those needs.
They did this without any expectation of reimbursement or compensation. They did this for a stranger, not a known friend. I don't know what they felt when they committed this act of incredible kindness. I only know that like them,, twelve "good people" had deemed me beyond redemption. The only remedy that these "good people" could offer us, is death. Somehow what these "good people" saw and what I was seeing didn't add up. How could these men, who just showed me so much, humanity, be considered the "worst of the worst."
It chills me to my core when I think about it. Those twelve "good people" were given this enormous God like responsibility . They had to decide who lives, and who dies. The state of Texas gave them this responsibility. But they didn't give them any God like training. I'm sure that they all meant well. They probably thought, as the DA and judge told them, that they were doing their civic duty. I personally have never considered murder a civic duty. That aside, how many times have we gotten this wrong ? I'm on the inside looking out now. I have that advantage over you. So I can tell you this. I have yet to meet a man here who I feel is beyond redemption. If you took a good look, and I invite you to do that, You may just come to realize how often you have been wrong.
Ever since Napolean was executed, for a crime he committed as a teen. I've wanted to share this story with his family. I've never been able to find anyone with their address. If anyone out there can share this with them, I would appreciate it very much. I would like for them to know that their son was a good man. One who I will never forget. I want for them to know how sorry I am that we as a society failed them and him. I still find it ridiculous that we as a people feel that we cannot teach or love our young properly. I'm appalled at the idea that a teen is beyond redemption, that the only solution that we can offer is death. It's tragic that this is being pointed out to the "good people" by one of the "worst of the worst." God help us all.
What's in the brown paper bag? I found caring, kindness, love, humanity, and compassion of a scale that I've never seen the "good people" in the free world show towards one another.\"When there is no hope it is incumbent upon us to invent it.\
I'm about the share with you a story who's telling is long past due. It's a familiar story to most of you reading this from death row. And now it's one that all of you in "free world" may benefit from. This is the story of my first day on the row.
I came here in May of 1999. The exact date is something that I can't recall.
I do remember arriving in the afternoon . I was placed in a cell on H-20 wing over at the Ellis Unit in Huntsville, Tx. A Tsunami of emotions and thoughts were going through my mind at the time. I remember the only things in the cell were a mattress, pillow, a couple of sheets, a pillow case, a roll of toilet paper, and a blanket ... I remember sitting there, utterly lost.
The first person I met there was Napolean Beasley. Back then, death row prisoners still worked . His job at the time was to clean up the wing and help serve during meal times. He was walking around sweeping the pod in these ridiculous looking rubber boots. He came up to the bars on my cell and asked me if I was new.. I told him that I had just arrived on d/r. He asked what my name is. I told him, not seeing any harm in it. He then stepped back where he could see all three tiers. He hollered at everyone, "There's a new man here. He just drove up. His name is Luis Ramirez."
When he did that, I didn't know what to make of it at first. I thought I had made some kind of mistake. You see ? Like most of you, I was of the impression that everyone on d/r was evil. I thought I would find hundreds of "Hannibal Lecter's in here. And now , they all knew my name. I thought "Oh well," that's strike one. I was sure that they would soon begin harassing me. This is what happens in the movies after all.
Well, that's not what happened . After supper was served. Napolean was once again sweeping the floors. As he passed my cell, He swept a brown paper bag into it. I asked him "What's this"? He said for me to look inside and continued on his way . Man, I didn't know what to expect. I was certain it was something bad. Curiosity did get the best of me though. I carefully opened the bag. What I found was the last thing I ever expected to find on death row, and everything I needed. The bag contained some stamps, envelopes notepad, pen, soap, shampoo, toothpaste, tooth brush, a pastry, a soda, and a couple of Ramen noodles. I remember asking Napolean where this came from ?
He told me that everyone had pitched in . That they knew that I didn't have anything and that it may be a while before I could get them. I asked him to find out who had contributed . I wanted to pay them back. He said, "It's not like that . Just remember the next time you see someone come here like you.You pitch in something ?"
I sat there on my bunk with my brown paper bag of goodies, and thought about what had just happened to me. The last things I expected to find on death row was kindness and generosity. I thought of how many times I had seen "good people" of the world, pass by some man, woman, or child holding a sign that read, "Hungry, or will work for food." I'm guilty of the same. I just passed them by. By the end of the block, or upon reaching my destination . That poor, hungry, tattered, and perhaps dirty , soul had been forgotten. Lost among my daily challenges and struggles with life. Yet, here on death row Among the worst of the worst . I didn't have to hold up a sign.
They knew what I needed and they took it upon themselves to meet those needs.
They did this without any expectation of reimbursement or compensation. They did this for a stranger, not a known friend. I don't know what they felt when they committed this act of incredible kindness. I only know that like them,, twelve "good people" had deemed me beyond redemption. The only remedy that these "good people" could offer us, is death. Somehow what these "good people" saw and what I was seeing didn't add up. How could these men, who just showed me so much, humanity, be considered the "worst of the worst."
It chills me to my core when I think about it. Those twelve "good people" were given this enormous God like responsibility . They had to decide who lives, and who dies. The state of Texas gave them this responsibility. But they didn't give them any God like training. I'm sure that they all meant well. They probably thought, as the DA and judge told them, that they were doing their civic duty. I personally have never considered murder a civic duty. That aside, how many times have we gotten this wrong ? I'm on the inside looking out now. I have that advantage over you. So I can tell you this. I have yet to meet a man here who I feel is beyond redemption. If you took a good look, and I invite you to do that, You may just come to realize how often you have been wrong.
Ever since Napolean was executed, for a crime he committed as a teen. I've wanted to share this story with his family. I've never been able to find anyone with their address. If anyone out there can share this with them, I would appreciate it very much. I would like for them to know that their son was a good man. One who I will never forget. I want for them to know how sorry I am that we as a society failed them and him. I still find it ridiculous that we as a people feel that we cannot teach or love our young properly. I'm appalled at the idea that a teen is beyond redemption, that the only solution that we can offer is death. It's tragic that this is being pointed out to the "good people" by one of the "worst of the worst." God help us all.
What's in the brown paper bag? I found caring, kindness, love, humanity, and compassion of a scale that I've never seen the "good people" in the free world show towards one another.\"When there is no hope it is incumbent upon us to invent it.\
dinsdag 18 december 2012
Cadeautje gekregen
Gisteravond is het laat geworden op het werk en ik ging pas om half 4 vannacht naar huis. Terwijl mijn eindtijd half 3 is... Nu had Joshua's moeder vorige week al gemaild dat er een pakketje onderweg was dus dat vond ik best spannend. Thuisgekomen kan ik nooit gelijk slapen, dus pas na kwart over 6 vielen mijn luikjes dicht. Staat er om half 11 iemand als een gek op de bel te hengsten, bleek t dus de postbode te zijn met t pakketje. En dit is wat er in zat, zo lief:
zondag 16 december 2012
Marks Winter Scrap
Dit is een inzending die ik gemaakt heb voor een wedstrijd die nu loopt op http://www.markharmonfans.com:
Als je de foto even aanklikt dan krijg je m op origineel formaat te zien.
Als je de foto even aanklikt dan krijg je m op origineel formaat te zien.
donderdag 13 december 2012
woensdag 12 december 2012
dinsdag 11 december 2012
Dagje vrij
Vandaag was ik een dagje vrij en moest natuurlijk ook wat boodschappen gaan halen. Maar wat een ongelooflijk lekker weer is het vandaag zeg! Ik hou wel van vrieskou met een lekker zonnetje erbij. Was bij Mirell gaan zitten, en heb daar aan een brief voor Josh zitten werken onder het genot van warme choco met slagroom en een kaaspannekoek
dinsdag 4 december 2012
[TUTORIAL]Sjaal Afhechten rechte breiring
Hier kun je goed zien hoe je op een rechte breiring een sjaal af kunt hechten
[TUTORIAL] Knifty Knitter Sjaal opzetten
Hier kun je goed zien hoe je een sjaal kunt opzetten op een rechte breiring
maandag 3 december 2012
Kerstversiering winkelcentrum
Gister ging ik even om een paar boodschappen in het winkelcentrum om de hoek. Ze hadden het leuk versierd.
zaterdag 1 december 2012
Texas
Mooi, vandaag een brief van James uit Texas. 12 kantjes maar liefst, in een lastig leesbaar handschrift, maar dat maakt de uitdaging des te groter.
donderdag 29 november 2012
Als je dit leest
Ben je toch blij dat je in Nederland woont
http://www.nu.nl/buitenland/2970478/syrie-blokkeert-zowel-internet-als-telefoon.html
Heel erg voor die mensen dat ze zo van de buitenwereld afgesloten worden.
http://www.nu.nl/buitenland/2970478/syrie-blokkeert-zowel-internet-als-telefoon.html
Heel erg voor die mensen dat ze zo van de buitenwereld afgesloten worden.
Ff afwezig geweest
Eerst door het feit dat je zelf je betaling aan kpn hebt laten versloffen en je dus logischerwijs afgesloten wordt, en vervolgens omdat je geveld word door een gezellige grieperdepiep...
Muts geloomd
Sinds een paar maanden ben ik aan de knutsel geslagen met de knifty knitter/breiringen. Ideaal voor mensen die niet zo goed met gewone breinaalden overweg kunnen. Ik noem het breien voor kneuzen...
dinsdag 20 november 2012
zondag 18 november 2012
Jailmail van Josh
Gistermiddag om een uurtje of 4 was ik ff naar de brievenbus gelopen om te kijken of ik al post had, tot mijn grote verdriet lag er niks. Maar hwbbwrig als ik ben was ik om half 9 nog maar een keer naar de brievenbus gelopen en toen bleek dat er eindelijk een brief van Josh lag. Eigenlijk was ik een beetje bang voor deze brief en terecht want hij was behoorlijk pissed dat ik 4 maanden niks van me had laten horen. Hier een fragment:
"Perhaps you realize that I'm frustrated by your tendency to pull away from friends (or at least me) during hard times. Perhaps Dutchies have a different use for friends, but in the USA, friends are people we lean on in difficulties. I'm here wanting to be an outlet for you. I want to be a resource for bringing a smile to your face, peace to your spirit, and warmth to your heart. But what good am I if you don't use the support I offer you?"
Ja dan word je wel weer met 2 pootjes op de grond gezet...
"Perhaps you realize that I'm frustrated by your tendency to pull away from friends (or at least me) during hard times. Perhaps Dutchies have a different use for friends, but in the USA, friends are people we lean on in difficulties. I'm here wanting to be an outlet for you. I want to be a resource for bringing a smile to your face, peace to your spirit, and warmth to your heart. But what good am I if you don't use the support I offer you?"
Ja dan word je wel weer met 2 pootjes op de grond gezet...
zaterdag 17 november 2012
Zucht
Nu weet ik wel dat een groot deel van amerika de gevolgen ondervind van hurricane sandy, maar dat betekend wel dat mijn brievenbus leeg blijft... Bah! Humbug!
donderdag 15 november 2012
Eindelijk Jailmail!!!
Hè hè, na ruim 3 weken wachten is het eindelijk zo ver en had ik vandaag voor het eerst sinds lange tijd weer jailmail in mijn brievenbusje. Ditmaal een brief van Bruce uit Texas, Een erg korte brief, maar wel een onwijs leuke brief :D Ik hoop dat ik met de volgende brief wat dingen weer met jullie kan delen :D
maandag 12 november 2012
Josh zijn mening over gevangen zijn
Dit is een stukje wat Josh me een paar maanden terug schreef, over hoe hij het ervaart om in de gevangenis te zitten:
I Never planned for prison. But, had I not come to prison, I would have never taught myself to draw, gotten to know you, and countless other things. While I deeply regret what I did to come to prison, I don’t regret my prison experience itself because I have gained so much from it. Prison has been an example of serendipity in my life
I Never planned for prison. But, had I not come to prison, I would have never taught myself to draw, gotten to know you, and countless other things. While I deeply regret what I did to come to prison, I don’t regret my prison experience itself because I have gained so much from it. Prison has been an example of serendipity in my life
Dit geloof je toch serieus niet?
Vanaf ongeveer mijn 12e levensjaar ben ik al idolaat van Frederik de Groot, die bij het Nederlandse publiek vooral bekend is door zijn rollen in De Fabriek, Bureau Kruislaan, Unit 13 en recentelijk de sinterklaasfilms waarin hij Inspecteur Jankers speelt.
In 2008 ben ik een fansite voor hem gestart en daar hoort natuurlijk ook een gastenboek bij, maar ongedurig als ik ben, was de lol van het onderhouden van een website er gauw vanaf. Gister besloot ik -om wat voor reden dan ook- eens in mijn gastenboek te gaan kijken en wat blijkt?
Hij heeft vorig jaar mijn gastenboek al getekend!!! op 17 oktober 2011...
"Is merkwaardig een site over jezelf te vinden!
Iets om trots op te zijn?
Misschien wel.
Krijg veel reacties op De Vergeten Gelofte.
Een boek wat er toe doet, denk ik.
Bedankt voor dit platform.
hartelijke groeten,
Frederik.
nieuw:
www.livingproductions.nl"
Bij deze: Frederik, jij nog zo ontzettend veel meer bedankt voor het plezier wat je mij, en ongetwijfeld alle andere fans en bewonderaars, al jaren brengt met je acteerwerk! Ontzettend bedankt voor je begrip dat er mensen zijn die fansites willen onderhouden en ik hoop dat we met zijn allen nog lang van je mogen genieten!
PS: 'k wilde het bij het kerstcircus in 2008 wel zeggen van de site, maar ik was véél te nerveus en onder de indruk.
In 2008 ben ik een fansite voor hem gestart en daar hoort natuurlijk ook een gastenboek bij, maar ongedurig als ik ben, was de lol van het onderhouden van een website er gauw vanaf. Gister besloot ik -om wat voor reden dan ook- eens in mijn gastenboek te gaan kijken en wat blijkt?
Hij heeft vorig jaar mijn gastenboek al getekend!!! op 17 oktober 2011...
"Is merkwaardig een site over jezelf te vinden!
Iets om trots op te zijn?
Misschien wel.
Krijg veel reacties op De Vergeten Gelofte.
Een boek wat er toe doet, denk ik.
Bedankt voor dit platform.
hartelijke groeten,
Frederik.
nieuw:
www.livingproductions.nl"
Bij deze: Frederik, jij nog zo ontzettend veel meer bedankt voor het plezier wat je mij, en ongetwijfeld alle andere fans en bewonderaars, al jaren brengt met je acteerwerk! Ontzettend bedankt voor je begrip dat er mensen zijn die fansites willen onderhouden en ik hoop dat we met zijn allen nog lang van je mogen genieten!
PS: 'k wilde het bij het kerstcircus in 2008 wel zeggen van de site, maar ik was véél te nerveus en onder de indruk.
zondag 11 november 2012
Hahahahaha Hilarisch (hond op trampoline)
Kwam deze tegen op het WAP-forum. heb me zitten bescheuren :D
The Boy is Mine Wordart Freebie
Even met je rechtermuisknop op de afbeelding klikken en dan opslaan als kiezen. Enjoy!
Stichting Inside Outside
Dit is een stichting die onder andere bemiddelt tussen gevangenen en penvrienden. Mocht je erover denken om toch te gaan schrijven met iemand in de gevangenis (en ik kan het je van harte aanraden!!!), dan is dit een goed punt om te beginnen. Ze hebben heel veel informatie en als je iets wilt weten staan ze je ook via mail heel prettig te woord.
http://home.planet.nl/~draak009/
http://home.planet.nl/~draak009/
vrijdag 9 november 2012
En ook nog
Dit:
"And, I have a confession to make. While I have other pen-friends (pen-pal sounds lame! lol!), I think of you the most often. Getting a letter from you is like a glass of cold water to a thirsty man in a hot desert. I enjoy what you have to say, love what you share and can't wait for the next cool drink. Thank you for every refreshing drop!"
"And, I have a confession to make. While I have other pen-friends (pen-pal sounds lame! lol!), I think of you the most often. Getting a letter from you is like a glass of cold water to a thirsty man in a hot desert. I enjoy what you have to say, love what you share and can't wait for the next cool drink. Thank you for every refreshing drop!"
Wie zei nou eigenlijk...
Dat schrijven met gevangenen stom is om te doen?
Lees dan dit maar ff :D (uit een brief van Josh)
"I was telling my cell-mate about you today and showed him the more recent photo of you. I really like it! It's such a great shot and that smile makes your whole face glow. I'm considering putting it on the bulletin board in my cell instead of my photo album. I told him how sweet you are and how easy it is for me to like you. He didn't ask anything about you, I just kept talking"
Lees dan dit maar ff :D (uit een brief van Josh)
"I was telling my cell-mate about you today and showed him the more recent photo of you. I really like it! It's such a great shot and that smile makes your whole face glow. I'm considering putting it on the bulletin board in my cell instead of my photo album. I told him how sweet you are and how easy it is for me to like you. He didn't ask anything about you, I just kept talking"
Kort gedichtje van Josh
Dit kreeg ik vlak nadat ik voor het eerst met hem begon te schrijven:
The smell of tulips fills the air
On a beautiful Holland day
And Fresh from Haarlem I come knocking
Holding a fragrent bouquet
I've traveled long and I've traveled far
Just to look at you and say
"I would very much like it if you played a song
and danced with me today"
The smell of tulips fills the air
On a beautiful Holland day
And Fresh from Haarlem I come knocking
Holding a fragrent bouquet
I've traveled long and I've traveled far
Just to look at you and say
"I would very much like it if you played a song
and danced with me today"
Pauley Perrette tekening van Josh
Josh heeft voor mij ook 2 tekeningen gemaakt van Pauley Perrette die Abby Sciuto speelt in NCIS:
Leuke Stationery
De jongens in de gevangenis in Amerika mogen eigenlijk niks toegezonden krijgen. Je mag geen stickers op de envelop plakken, je mag er geen kleine kadootjes bij doen en in sommige staten mag je zelfs niet eens een potloodtekening bijvoegen. Dus dan ga je toch naar andere manieren zoeken om de post een beetje leuker te maken voor je penpals en toen ik 2 weken terug aan het winkelen was kwam ik dit tegen:
Stukje Jailmail
'k zit even terug te lezen op het WAP forum (http://www.writeaprisoner.com) en kwam een leuk stukje van Josh tegen:
Do you realize the significance of the date of your letter (feb. 11)? Well, in case you don’t, that is the day – a year ago (feb. 11, 2011) – that you clicked on my PI.com ad and submitted your info to me. I have had you in my life now for a year – A years worth of amazing friendship! And, as I’ve told guys here many times, if you were the only person to have ever responded to my ad, you alone are worth every cent of the $40.00 fee I paid. And, had I known the future, I would have easily paid far more than I did!
Do you realize the significance of the date of your letter (feb. 11)? Well, in case you don’t, that is the day – a year ago (feb. 11, 2011) – that you clicked on my PI.com ad and submitted your info to me. I have had you in my life now for a year – A years worth of amazing friendship! And, as I’ve told guys here many times, if you were the only person to have ever responded to my ad, you alone are worth every cent of the $40.00 fee I paid. And, had I known the future, I would have easily paid far more than I did!
dinsdag 30 oktober 2012
Onwijs mooi liedje: Bright Eyes van Art Garfunkel
Dit liedje hoorde ik van de week toen ik terug liep in de stromende regen met de boodschappen. Erg mooi en emotioneel.
Jailmail
Eind januari, begin februari 2011 ben ik begonnen met het schrijven van jongens in Amerika in de gevangenis. Na jarenlang hierover getwijfeld te hebben, heb ik uiteindelijk de knoop door gehakt en een paar inmates aangeschreven. Dat ging goed, tot mijn moeder een jaar terug overleed en ik ook ineens geen zin meer had om te schrijven. Het is een jaar vol ellende geweest en nu ik weer een beetje tot rust kom mis ik de post en de aandacht en de leuke tekeningen, dus ik heb van de week weer wat post op de bus gedaan naar "oude" penpals, en ook een paar nieuwe aangeschreven. Het wordt dus de komende weken weer in zenuwen wachten op jailmail :D
Mijn pp J die is van de zomer overgeplaatst van PA naar NJ, dus ik denk dat ie daar uit zijn verschoning zit te waaien hihi.
Hier een tekening die ik van J kreeg:
Mijn pp J die is van de zomer overgeplaatst van PA naar NJ, dus ik denk dat ie daar uit zijn verschoning zit te waaien hihi.
Hier een tekening die ik van J kreeg:
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