Sweet

A sweet part of a letter that Josh wrote me on may 31st. It wasn't my intention but I really can't help myself falling for him after 2.5 years of writing:

"I've come to realize that there are more important things than a trophy girlfriend. I want a woman that appreciates the imperfect me that I struggle to accept. I want a woman that adores me, I want a woman who is proud of me and a woman who desires me. I want a woman who can be herself with me even if she can't be herself with others. I want a woman who isn't trying to impress me.

Moontje, you are every bit the woman I've always wanted. You are all of the above but also thoughtful, understanding, considerate, accepting, forgiving, so very loving and so very dear to me. I love your letters, cards, photo's, poems, etc. I love our phonecalls. I love having you in my life.

Any "gorgeous" woman who comes along is at a massive disadvantage because you have all of that, but you also have my heart."

And this is the lates drawing he sent me:

 

Prison Art: How Inventive Can You Get?

Josh is an amazing artist. I know that, you know that... no need to enlighten you there, right? Well, it seems I'm wrong about that, lol.

Josh has been transferred last summer and wasn't allowed to bring his art supplies to his new facility. He ordered new supplies but is still waiting for them. When I spoke to him on the phone a few weeks ago, he mentioned that he had made me a drawing and he made it with... *drumrolls*... TEA!

Yup, my penpal is a little Einstein, lol.

I just love it!

Frogs and Stuff

14 months ago my mom passed away, she has always been an avid collector of frog items. Our house was stashed with them and they were even on the toilet hahahaha. So when Josh called me last thursday, he was like: awwww, I can't keep a secret: I made you a drawing and I think you'll like it.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I received a letter today from him and in the envelope was the drawing. I was stunned:

Zentangle

Looking for idea's to spice up the letters to my penpals I came across a Zentangle website. Actually this is basically what we used to do in high school, but these days they call it Zentangle.

Click here for a Zentangle website

Here are some examples:

De eerste 2013 goodie is binnen

Vandaag kwam er een brief van Bruce uit Amerika, met een onwijs lief getekend kerstkaartje. Nu weet ik niet of hij dit zelf getekend heeft, soms vragen ze ook wel eens aan andere inmates die heel goed kunnen tekenen of ze zoiets willen maken. Ze betalen hier dan voor met bijvoorbeeld postzegels. Maar de gedachte is heel lief :D

The Brown Paper Bag

Voor alle kortzichtige mensen die vinden dat een gevange een beest is die nooit meer het daglicht mag zien, die geen plezier mag beleven aan het schrijven met penpals en die vooral niet gelukkig mag zijn. Misschien moeten dat soort mensen de handen eens in eigen boezem steken, voordat ze op de stoel van de rechter willen gaan zitten die de gevangene zijn straf al opgelegd heeft. Een verhaal van Luis Ramirez.

I'm about the share with you a story who's telling is long past due. It's a familiar story to most of you reading this from death row. And now it's one that all of you in "free world" may benefit from. This is the story of my first day on the row.
I came here in May of 1999. The exact date is something that I can't recall.
I do remember arriving in the afternoon . I was placed in a cell on H-20 wing over at the Ellis Unit in Huntsville, Tx. A Tsunami of emotions and thoughts were going through my mind at the time. I remember the only things in the cell were a mattress, pillow, a couple of sheets, a pillow case, a roll of toilet paper, and a blanket ... I remember sitting there, utterly lost.


The first person I met there was Napolean Beasley. Back then, death row prisoners still worked . His job at the time was to clean up the wing and help serve during meal times. He was walking around sweeping the pod in these ridiculous looking rubber boots. He came up to the bars on my cell and asked me if I was new.. I told him that I had just arrived on d/r. He asked what my name is. I told him, not seeing any harm in it. He then stepped back where he could see all three tiers. He hollered at everyone, "There's a new man here. He just drove up. His name is Luis Ramirez."
When he did that, I didn't know what to make of it at first. I thought I had made some kind of mistake. You see ? Like most of you, I was of the impression that everyone on d/r was evil. I thought I would find hundreds of "Hannibal Lecter's in here. And now , they all knew my name. I thought "Oh well," that's strike one. I was sure that they would soon begin harassing me. This is what happens in the movies after all.

Well, that's not what happened . After supper was served. Napolean was once again sweeping the floors. As he passed my cell, He swept a brown paper bag into it. I asked him "What's this"? He said for me to look inside and continued on his way . Man, I didn't know what to expect. I was certain it was something bad. Curiosity did get the best of me though. I carefully opened the bag. What I found was the last thing I ever expected to find on death row, and everything I needed. The bag contained some stamps, envelopes notepad, pen, soap, shampoo, toothpaste, tooth brush, a pastry, a soda, and a couple of Ramen noodles. I remember asking Napolean where this came from ?

He told me that everyone had pitched in . That they knew that I didn't have anything and that it may be a while before I could get them. I asked him to find out who had contributed . I wanted to pay them back. He said, "It's not like that . Just remember the next time you see someone come here like you.You pitch in something ?"

I sat there on my bunk with my brown paper bag of goodies, and thought about what had just happened to me. The last things I expected to find on death row was kindness and generosity. I thought of how many times I had seen "good people" of the world, pass by some man, woman, or child holding a sign that read, "Hungry, or will work for food." I'm guilty of the same. I just passed them by. By the end of the block, or upon reaching my destination . That poor, hungry, tattered, and perhaps dirty , soul had been forgotten. Lost among my daily challenges and struggles with life. Yet, here on death row Among the worst of the worst . I didn't have to hold up a sign.
 
They knew what I needed and they took it upon themselves to meet those needs.
 
They did this without any expectation of reimbursement or compensation. They did this for a stranger, not a known friend. I don't know what they felt when they committed this act of incredible kindness. I only know that like them,, twelve "good people" had deemed me beyond redemption. The only remedy that these "good people" could offer us, is death. Somehow what these "good people" saw and what I was seeing didn't add up. How could these men, who just showed me so much, humanity, be considered the "worst of the worst."

It chills me to my core when I think about it. Those twelve "good people" were given this enormous God like responsibility . They had to decide who lives, and who dies. The state of Texas gave them this responsibility. But they didn't give them any God like training. I'm sure that they all meant well. They probably thought, as the DA and judge told them, that they were doing their civic duty. I personally have never considered murder a civic duty. That aside, how many times have we gotten this wrong ? I'm on the inside looking out now. I have that advantage over you. So I can tell you this. I have yet to meet a man here who I feel is beyond redemption. If you took a good look, and I invite you to do that, You may just come to realize how often you have been wrong.

Ever since Napolean was executed, for a crime he committed as a teen. I've wanted to share this story with his family. I've never been able to find anyone with their address. If anyone out there can share this with them, I would appreciate it very much. I would like for them to know that their son was a good man. One who I will never forget. I want for them to know how sorry I am that we as a society failed them and him. I still find it ridiculous that we as a people feel that we cannot teach or love our young properly. I'm appalled at the idea that a teen is beyond redemption, that the only solution that we can offer is death. It's tragic that this is being pointed out to the "good people" by one of the "worst of the worst." God help us all.

What's in the brown paper bag? I found caring, kindness, love, humanity, and compassion of a scale that I've never seen the "good people" in the free world show towards one another.\"When there is no hope it is incumbent upon us to invent it.\

Cadeautje gekregen

Gisteravond is het laat geworden op het werk en ik ging pas om half 4 vannacht naar huis. Terwijl mijn eindtijd half 3 is... Nu had Joshua's moeder vorige week al gemaild dat er een pakketje onderweg was dus dat vond ik best spannend. Thuisgekomen kan ik nooit gelijk slapen, dus pas na kwart over 6 vielen mijn luikjes dicht. Staat er om half 11 iemand als een gek op de bel te hengsten, bleek t dus de postbode te zijn met t pakketje. En dit is wat er in zat, zo lief:

Texas

Mooi, vandaag een brief van James uit Texas. 12 kantjes maar liefst, in een lastig leesbaar handschrift, maar dat maakt de uitdaging des te groter.

Vandaag in de brievenbus...

Mail van een nieuwe penpal

Jailmail van Josh

Gistermiddag om een uurtje of 4 was ik ff naar de brievenbus gelopen om te kijken of ik al post had, tot mijn grote verdriet lag er niks. Maar hwbbwrig als ik ben was ik om half 9 nog maar een keer naar de brievenbus gelopen en toen bleek dat er eindelijk een brief van Josh lag. Eigenlijk was ik een beetje bang voor deze brief en terecht want hij was behoorlijk pissed dat ik 4 maanden niks van me had laten horen. Hier een fragment:

"Perhaps you realize that I'm frustrated by your tendency to pull away from friends (or at least me) during hard times. Perhaps Dutchies have a different use for friends, but in the USA, friends are people we lean on in difficulties. I'm here wanting to be an outlet for you. I want to be a resource for bringing a smile to your face, peace to your spirit, and warmth to your heart. But what good am I if you don't use the support I offer you?"

Ja dan word je wel weer met 2 pootjes op de grond gezet...

Eindelijk Jailmail!!!

Hè hè, na ruim 3 weken wachten is het eindelijk zo ver en had ik vandaag voor het eerst sinds lange tijd weer jailmail in mijn brievenbusje. Ditmaal een brief van Bruce uit Texas, Een erg korte brief, maar wel een onwijs leuke brief :D Ik hoop dat ik met de volgende brief wat dingen weer met jullie kan delen :D

Stichting Inside Outside

Dit is een stichting die onder andere bemiddelt tussen gevangenen en penvrienden. Mocht je erover denken om toch te gaan schrijven met iemand in de gevangenis (en ik kan het je van harte aanraden!!!), dan is dit een goed punt om te beginnen. Ze hebben heel veel informatie en als je iets wilt weten staan ze je ook via mail heel prettig te woord.

http://home.planet.nl/~draak009/

En ook nog

Dit:

"And, I have a confession to make. While I have other pen-friends (pen-pal sounds lame! lol!), I think of you the most often. Getting a letter from you is like a glass of cold water to a thirsty man in a hot desert. I enjoy what you have to say, love what you share and can't wait for the next cool drink. Thank you for every refreshing drop!"

Wie zei nou eigenlijk...

Dat schrijven met gevangenen stom is om te doen?

Lees dan dit maar ff :D (uit een brief van Josh)

"I was telling my cell-mate about you today and showed him the more recent photo of you. I really like it! It's such a great shot and that smile makes your whole face glow. I'm considering putting it on the bulletin board in my cell instead of my photo album. I told him how sweet you are and how easy it is for me to like you. He didn't ask anything about you, I just kept talking"

Kort gedichtje van Josh

Dit kreeg ik vlak nadat ik voor het eerst met hem begon te schrijven:

The smell of tulips fills the air
On a beautiful Holland day
And Fresh from Haarlem I come knocking
Holding a fragrent bouquet
I've traveled long and I've traveled far
Just to look at you and say
"I would very much like it if you played a song
and danced with me today"

Mark Harmon Tekening van Josh gekregen

Gaaf he?

Stukje Jailmail

'k zit even terug te lezen op het WAP forum (http://www.writeaprisoner.com) en kwam een leuk stukje van Josh tegen:

Do you realize the significance of the date of your letter (feb. 11)? Well, in case you don’t, that is the day – a year ago (feb. 11, 2011) – that you clicked on my PI.com ad and submitted your info to me. I have had you in my life now for a year – A years worth of amazing friendship! And, as I’ve told guys here many times, if you were the only person to have ever responded to my ad, you alone are worth every cent of the $40.00 fee I paid. And, had I known the future, I would have easily paid far more than I did!